..by Anura Guruge
Given that it was the lead story it was hard to miss. I saw it around 8:20 am this morning, while (of course) still lying in bed, with my cup of coffee in one hand. I was lucky that I did not (yet again) spill it all over the bed to earn Deanna’s ire.
As soon as I saw ‘570’ I kind remembered, even before I got to the ‘MacDurgin building’ part, that this was my old stomping ground.
Suffice to say it cracked me up. I will, in honor of all those that allegedly labored there for decades, I will refrain from saying I ‘worked’ there. But, I was kind of employed by them for about 15 months (I think), from 2002 — 2003, as their “Chief Bottle Washer” — or at least that is what it said on my MacDurgin business cards. To be fair, at least during the time I was there, there wasn’t that many bottles to wash.
There was never a ‘Mr.’ or for that matter ‘Mrs.’ or even ‘Ms.’ MacDurgin. It is a concocted name. I am not even sure whether the business is still operational. I kind of had heard that the ‘Mac’ part of it passed away a few years ago. He would whole heartedly have approved though his dear wife, one of the sweetest ladies I have ever met, might have had some concerns to begin with, though I had come to realize that she was amazingly resilient, open minded and had a wicked sense of humor.
Wow, a sex shop on the premises would have been great when I was there. I would have had more bottles to wash. Would have definitely increased the foot traffic into the building.
I still remember a great call. A lady had walked in and was talking to that delightful ‘Mrs. Mac’. As was invariably the case if I wasn’t busy washing bottles she called me over to ‘help’ — especially since I sat, in the open, very close to her.
The lady that had walked in was asking for a ‘USP’ for her daughter’s computer. Took me a second. Then I asked, do you mean a ‘UPS’? And she immediately beamed and said: ‘Yes, that is it. She want a UPS’ — an Uninterruptible Power Supply (UPS). Since UPSs are differentiated by capacity I asked what kind of computer her daughter would be using with the UPS. She said a LAPTOP! Cracked me up. I had to explain to her that a laptop does not need a UPS (assuming it had a working battery). She assured me that her daughter’s battery (in the laptop) was fine. So I sent her on her way without an UPS. Another sales I didn’t make for MacDugin. No wonder they fired me.
As for the Sex Shop, I have to say, with regret, that even I, one of the most liberal folks when it comes to such matters, can see insurmountable issues. As far as I can recall there is an apartment building, with kids as is invariably the case in Laconia, that basically shares the parking lot with McDurgin. That would, should be, a problem. A shame. That whole building, if not for its central location, has great potential as a sex shop. Of course with any building as such you hear many stories of past escapades — especially since there used to be quite a few wags there in my time. Don’t know how true they were. One even marked a square on my desk, with tape, supposedly to commemorate one of his many conquests — and would come over, most days, to tap on it with a big grin on his face. Since we sold office furniture all our desks were kept clean, so I really had no qualms about what took place on my desk when I was busy washing bottles. It was all good fun.
Anyway, this story made my day.