by Anura Guruge
1>. Best ever Easter joke — Apr. 19, 2014.
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<< Warning: This one is sacrilegious. Sorry. >>
It is Black Friday. Jesus has been Crucified, under a sign that says ‘King of the Jews’, by the Romans at the prodding of some factions of the Jewish leadership in Jerusalem.
He has been on the Cross for some time. Some of his disciples are gathered around, in great distress, at the foot of the Cross. They are mortified. It is getting late in the afternoon. Despite the thick cloud cover it is hot. Jesus has not said uttered any sounds, let alone speak, in a long time. Everybody, bar the Romans, are worried that the end is nigh.
Suddenly they hear Jesus call out: “Peter, Peter, I want to tell you something”.
The disciples are galvanized. Peter, of course, is the Prince of the Apostles. It was on ‘his rock’ that Jesus wants his Church to be built. They all realize that this has to be very significant. Jesus is about to share something very important with Peter — and thus with the world.
Peter responds: “Yes my Lord. Yes, my Lord. I am here”.
Jesus, in obvious pain, whispers: “Peter, Peter, come up here. I want to show you something”.
The disciples are in awe. This they know will be a turning point. They start to lift up Peter, very carefully so as not to hurt Jesus — on the Cross.
They get him up at the back, and he clamours up using the footrest the Romans had provided for Jesus’ feet.
Peter manages to draw level with Jesus, from the back of the cross. Disciples are supporting him from below and keeping him steady.
Peter says: “I am here, My Lord. I am here”.
Jesus whispers: “Look Peter. Look Peter. I can see your house from here”.
<< boom. boom. >>
I know it is is bad and historically grossly inaccurate. You know that … right? St. Peter (#1) was not one of those at the Cruxifiction. But, remember, this is JOKE.