TDS Telecom’s Montego Bay, Jamaica Call Center Is A Joke. A Sad Joke At That.

.Anura Guruge December 2014 thumbnail
by Anura Guruge

Other Related posts:
1. It really is Jamaica — Oct. 29, 2014.
2. TDS outsourcing Call Center — May 5, 2014.

>> Search ‘TDS’ and for other related posts >>>>

Well my worst fears came to pass on Tuesday afternoon when I had to call TDS to report a 20% drop in my download bandwidth. Since October, following my last call with TDS, albeit to their always WONDERFUL Madison, Wisconsin Call Center, when I was told, for sure, for sure, that the new Call Center was in Jamaica (as opposed to Jamaica Plains), I have been dreading ever having to explain an Internet problem to a Jamaican.

female_clown_juggling_balls_0515-1103-1404-2429_SMUDon’t get me wrong. I love Jamaicans. My type of folks. Any day of the week I would gladly sup Rum and Coke with a bunch of Jamaicans and talk about cricket, Reggae and Jamaicans who are hung like horses. My favorite joke of all time ends with: “No, no, Man. What Wendy? Mine says: “Welcome to Jamaica and have a nice day”. I just know that Jamaicans really are not cut out to solve Internet issues. Nothing wrong with that. Sri Lankan’s can’t run like Usain St. Leo Bolt, bowl like my hero Michael Holding, bat like Chris Gayle, wicketkeep like Jeffrey Dujon or inspire men like Courtney Walsh. In 2012 I was convinced that Marlon Samuels was the next Viv Richards. So I am well aware of the world class talents of Jamaicans and I am not even going to mention their bobsledding prowess.

Well it was a disaster and a joke. She was very nice. Of course. To say that Jamaican ladies are friendly is like saying that Catholic cardinals aren’t known to usually say no to pork.

She tried. But we ended up having this conversation, after it took her 20 minutes to find my records, putting me on hold about 3 times. I am NOT making this up. I will swear by Michael Holding.

I: “My bandwidth is down to 13.4Mbps when it should be around 15.5Mpbs”.

Her: “Can you test it right now?”

I: “Yes, I can. Let me check it. ….. Yes, it is still 13.4Mbps”.

Her: ” Do you still have Internet access?”

I remembered all the Call Center jokes with Call Center reps. making fun of poor callers who called in ‘when they didn’t have power’, ‘when their PC was turned off’, ‘when they didn’t have a mouse attached’ etc. complaining that they were having trouble with their computers.

BUT, this takes the cake. I just told her that I tested my bandwidth and I was getting 13.4Mbps.


Well it only went downhill from there. That was Tuesday. Yes, Christmas intervened. But I still haven’t had my bandwidth restored.

A shame. I was a good customer.

TDS will rue the day that they opted to outsource to Jamaica.

Obviously some V.P. was on the make. How else can you justify picking Jamaica?