Tag Archives: Genie

Reasons 132 To 137 Of The 1,001 Reasons I Really, Really HATE DirecTV.

Anura Guruge, June 8, 2013.

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Anura Guruge


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See July 15, 2013 post as to why I have cut back the rants to one or two a day.


Click to ENLARGE. Today's stupid bill from DirecTV. They are idiots. Maybe I should take it back. They are imbeciles on drugs.

Click to ENLARGE. Today’s stupid bill from DirecTV. They are idiots. Maybe I should take it back. They are imbeciles on drugs.

#132. Today is a month since I had “Direc F*ING TV” installed. By far the worst decision of my long life. It has been, as chronicled here, on a daily basis, nothing but an unmitigated nightmare. There has not been one single bloody positive. There has NOT BEEN a SINGLE F*ING day without a problem. DirecTV, easily, is the worst company in the world.

#133. I check my bill on a regular basis because I know that they will try to sneak in something. Yesterday it said my balance was $0.00. Today, this. How stupid. Do you think I will get this as a credit against my bill. Don’t be stupid. 

#134. Just yesterday and today, I have had 46 hits on my post on how to fix the ‘No Sound‘ problem on the Genie HR 34! 46 hits in 2 days. The idiot installer, who I think was on drugs, told me that he had never heard of this problem. Well it is a known problem, but DirecTV tries to deny it. The installer really was a piece of work. They are all out to screw you from the get-go.

#135. The lack of PROGRAM INFO by DirecTV is beyond a joke as I have already mentioned at least 3 times, #123, #118, #23. Last night I noticed to my intense chagrin that DirecTV does not list episode numbers with TV series like ‘Four Weddings’ or the new ‘Wedding Island’. The kids like these wedding programs. With a new series like ‘Wedding Island’ using episode numbers is such an easy way to make sure you have recorded all the shows that have been broadcast. Bloody DirecTV. No episode numbers. They are so stupid.

#136. Yesterday morning when I turned on the TV and Genie ‘the garbage’ Mini I just could not, and I mean could not, get bloody CNN, Channel 202. Nothing. F*ing thing was just dead. I had to use bloody channel up/down and then go back to 202.

#137. The stupid Genie now will not turn on downstairs using just the Genie start-up button on the remote. Have to use the programmed ‘start Genie & TV’ button — even if the TV is already on. Stupid.


Reasons 128 To 131 Of The 1,001 Reasons I Really, Really HATE DirecTV.

Anura Guruge, June 8, 2013.

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Anura Guruge


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See July 15, 2013 post as to why I have cut back the rants to one or two a day.


Click to ENLARGE.

Click to ENLARGE.

#128. So I am not the only one getting BLACK (dead) screens with a Genie! #121. This is from DirecTV’s own ‘Technical Forums‘. There is about 4 pages of these problems!

#129. Obviously, and you can find references on the DirecTV Web site, there is a continuous stream of new software updates for the bloody Genie — which is not surprising since it is error riddled. When it was installed it was like installing a Windows XP box. It downloaded software updates non-stop for ‘hours’. But, now I can’t find a way to check if I have the latest software or force an update! The software has not been updated since the day of initial install. I find it hard to believe that they can go for 3 weeks without an update. They have so many problems.

#130. Beginning to realize, that though there is no easy to locate documentation, the MUTE button is used as a kind of ‘CNTRL’ button on the remote and you can hit MUTE + xxx to do some stuff. Haven’t worked out what. This could be the problem with my MUTE. #124. It might be in the wrong ‘mode’. Bloody DirecTV.

#131. The ‘BACK’ key is counter-intuitive at least per my intuvision. I expect it to act a bit like an ‘escape’ key. Get me out of here to where I was before. I am not sure it always does that. I still haven’t worked out exactly what it does but there are many times when it doesn’t do what I thought it would do. 


Reasons 125 To 127 Of The 1,001 Reasons I Really, Really HATE DirecTV.

Anura Guruge, June 8, 2013.

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Anura Guruge


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See July 15, 2013 post as to why I have cut back the rants to one or two a day.


#125. I know for a fact that they are not clever enough, but it is as if the f*ing Genie Bloody Mini has a built-in counter to keep count of how to beat its own despicable damn records for interoperability. Yesterday morning a new record for MUTE — 5 bloody attempts. #124 & #117. Guess what. This morning 6. I kid you not. F*ing 6 attempts to turn off the bloody sound. No! Don’t even dare tell me it is the damn batteries. PREV works, first time, each time. Turning on the sound — using the same f*ing MUTE f*ing button. Twice. Same as yesterday. So six (6) f*ing times to turn it off but it comes on in two. The Genie Mini is a piece of unmitigated garbage

#126. So now that I finally worked out how to use the FAVORITES, I am trying to use that. So hit the ‘UP Arrow’ this morning to access Favorites. You guess it. F*ing NOTHING. Nada. Not even a bloody flicker. That Genie f*ing Mini is FRIGID. It responds to very little. Piece of garbage. I really am going to find a way to sue bloody DirecTV for this. The Genie is a lemon. No question. It finally worked on the second attempt.

#127. As somebody who started programming in 1969, and have a B. Sc. (Hons) in Computer Technology (1974), and M. Sc. (Distinction), from the University of London (1979), in Computer Science, and as a ‘he writes code in pen‘ programmer and microcoder for IBM, I do know a few things about software. This is 2013 — though DirecTV and the Genie seem from the 1970s. Favorites should be coordinated, heuristically, with PREV, i.e., it should contain some acquired, learnt logic. Oh, NO. This is f*ing DirecTV. Favorites is totally DUMB — just like the company and all that work for it. So when you access Favorites the ‘selection’ box is always in the middle. If I designed FAVORITES … the selection box would predict where I will most likely go next based on PREV. So if I had been watching CNN and then used FAV to go to CNBC … when I next pressed FAV it would have CNN selected. Doesn’t mean that this will be the case every time but it is better than always selecting the HISTORY channel which is what I have as my 5th pick — and as thus is in the middle of the FAV box.


Reasons 123 To 124 Of The 1,001 Reasons I Really, Really HATE DirecTV.

Anura Guruge, June 8, 2013.

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Anura Guruge


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See July 15, 2013 post as to why I have cut back the rants to one or two a day.


#123. The deficiency of program information and the inconsistency in how it is ‘structured’ is beyond a joke, especially when it comes to movie descriptions. The other day I realized that it didn’t include any rating information for some movies. #118. Today I realized that while it does it for ‘many’ there are movies where the info does not include the names of the main stars! Yes, I know that they, sometimes, include a ‘cast & crew’ tab. But, when scanning through the program I just want 3 names at the start — and they do do this with some movies. It is the inconsistency. With DISH all movie information was always consistent — started with the stars, included a rating.

#124. I was one day out! On Monday I predicted, #117, that I will set a new record for the number of pushes to get mute to work by Tuesday. Well, it didn’t happen Tuesday. It happened today, Wednesday. Monday’s record was 4. This morning 5. Yes, 5 solid, hard, pushes of the mute button before the sound ceased. But, on trying to turn it back on — just 2. This is crazy. The Genie Mini is a piece of garbage.


Reasons 120 To 122 Of The 1,001 Reasons I Really, Really HATE DirecTV.

Anura Guruge, June 8, 2013.

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Anura Guruge


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See July 15, 2013 post as to why I have cut back the rants to one or two a day.


#120. Having serendipitously seen DirecTV information clip on how to set up FAVORITES [#98] I have been trying to populate this pop-up window. At the bottom of the FAVORITES pop-up window it says press enter to add the channel being watched into the list. That does NOT work. You have to press the Green button. If I had not seen that ‘informercial’ I would not have known that. It is amazing that DirecTV would display invalid information — but that is par for the course.

#121. I am beginning to ‘lose’, i.e., get a dead, black screen, more and more channels on the Genie Mini. #116. Yesterday morning [Tuesday] I lost CNN, MSNBC and CNBC. Not good. Indications are that the Genie, just 3 weeks old, is on its way out. Amazing.

#122. The fluctuating audio volumes is getting crazy. It kind of goes from a 3 to 10 when you stop a recorded movie. Then on the Genie Mini you can hardly get any volume on recorded shows.


Reasons 101 To 105 Of The 1,001 Reasons I Really, Really HATE DirecTV.

Anura Guruge, June 8, 2013.

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Anura Guruge


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#101. So this afternoon, for the first time, I lost my satellite signal because of inclement weather. I get a cryptic message along the lines ‘signal from Sat. 2 lost …’ press for more info. I do that. It did NOT tell me that I should look out of the window to see if the failure was due to bad weather! Nw I have been liberal in my use of accusing DirecTV of being stupid, but this takes the cake. The main reason I am going to lose my signal is because of cloud cover or snow on the dish. That DirecTV does not address this just proves my case that they are stupid.

#102. Of late, each time I change channels I get this annoying black message bar at the bottom of the screen to tell me that I can hit the record button to record that show. Yes, I fully appreciate by now that DirecTV is targeted at the ‘technologically unsophisticated‘ would get this message after they have seen it 500 times, PLUS it isn’t that profound. To record a show you hit the record button. Most DirecTV customers should be able to work this out after 3 weeks. The bloody bar is annoying because it obscures the news ticker on Channel 202. So today I missed an item and had to rewind the damn thing to read it.

#103. Decided to download the DirecTV android APP on to out two (2) Google Nexus 7 pads. So I go to the Google Play APP store. There are 2 DirecTV apps and one for DirecTV Genie. Of the two DirecTV apps, one says ‘tablet’. That is what we have. An Android tablet — the quintessential Android tablet at that, made for Google and running the latest Android OS. So I go to download the tablet app. Says the Google Next 7 is not supported! Ah! Yes, I could down load the other (phone) APP. Stupid.

#104. The LIVE TV guide in the DirecTV App (#103) does not show you the channel numbers. Just the names of the show. I need channel numbers. Plus I can’t find the movie channels on the LIVE TV part! Not good. The usual DirecTV stupidity and incompetence.

#105. So far, and I have only spent a few minutes playing with it,  the MOVIE section of DirecTV App (#103 & #104) only appears to show me pay-for-view movies. I am sure I haven’t found the others. But it shouldn’t be that hard.


Reasons 96 To 100 Of The 1,001 Reasons I Really, Really HATE DirecTV.

Anura Guruge, June 8, 2013.

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Anura Guruge


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#96. The erratic volume levels that I mentioned in #46 drive me nuts. I had been watching a recorded documentary: “The King’s Speech: Revealed”. I don’t think it was HD. Downstairs on the Genie, with my Philips Dolby sound bar, the volume was ‘OK’, probably because I had it cranked up high. Yesterday morning I wanted to finish watching it upstairs via the Genie Mini and the 27″ Philips HD TV. There was hardly any volume. I had to crank up the TV’s volume to MAX to be able to hear anything!

#97. By coincidence had another volume event downstairs last night. We had been watching “New Year’s Eve” (which was quite good). It was in HD and I had the volume to a level that was comfortable. When the movie was done, I hit stop … and that brought up CNN. The CNN volume (also in HD) was at least twice as loud! I had to scramble for the audio remote to turn down the volume before it woke up the neighbours.

#98. By happenchance I happened to see a DirecTV information clip (and I am not sure how it came up) on how to set the FAVORITES. It is by no way intuitive. No wonder I had struggled to set it up. It really would have been nice if DirecTV gave you a small printed booklet with how to setup all these functions.

#99. Both remotes are possessed. Typically when we go down to watch TV I am a few minutes ahead of Deanna and I turn on the TV & Genie while Deanna settles down. Last night she was already seated next to me when I turned on the TV & Genie. And this was to be a 4-minute wait event. She could not believe it. I showed her how all the buttons were dead. She was amazed. Then about 4 minutes into it everything starts working.

#100. The upstairs remote, for the Genie Mini, is definitely on the blink. More often than not I have to hit a button TWICE before it does anything. Just a few minutes ago, when I tried to turn it off … the volume bar came up, as if I had hit the volume button rather than OFF! Second time — it worked. Very annoying.


Reasons 91 To 95 Of The 1,001 Reasons I Really, Really HATE DirecTV.

Anura Guruge, June 8, 2013.

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Anura Guruge


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#91. The ‘LIST’ (i.e., list of recorded programs) does NOT have an option where with one click I can check what I have scheduled to be recorded. That is so, so stupid — but so, so DirecTV in that I am now more convinced than ever that DirecTV is targeted at technologically unsophisticated users. On DISH you had the ‘Scheduled’ button right there. I want to see both — what is already recorded and what is in the queue to be recorded. To get to the ‘To Do List’ requires about 5 other clicks. Stupid.

#92. Yesterday I discovered the second ‘only half recorded’ movie. Not good. So had to delete it and schedule it to be taped again.

#93. Monday night while I was browsing SHOWTIME on Demand I suddenly get a message saying my Internet connection was down. Now I had been checkin HBO on Demand and STARZ on Demand previously. So basically it lost the Wi-Fi connection in mid-stream. It took me close to 30 minutes to reestablish the connection! Wow. Wow. Wow. It should just reconnect automatically — but this is DirecTV, the domain of the brain dead.

#94. So after I establish the Wi-Fi connection, out of curiosity I run the diagnostic tests. It says that 2 tests failed. The first error message is that it could not establish a dial-up connection. I kid you not. Could not establish a dial-up connection. I am so f*ing glad that it couldn’t. I don’t have a bloody dial-up connection. QED. DirecTV is meant for the technologically crippled.

#95. So, #94 above, while it says that my Interest connection test failed, I hit the dash key, yes, the dash key … “-” … which is supposed to be the way to quickly check Internet connection and it says that I have an Internet connection. Again, ditto. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. But, to make sure I selected OnDemand. No problem. I got a list of movies. This is like a bloody joke. DirecTV is so stupid.


Reasons 86 To 90 Of The 1,001 Reasons I Really, Really HATE DirecTV.

Anura Guruge, June 8, 2013.

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Anura Guruge


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#86. The ‘LIST’ (i.e., list of recorded programs) does NOT tell you how many programs you have recorded, just the amount of disk space left (in my case, right now 83%). I need to know the NUMBER of programs I have recorded — as I could with DISH. So with the DISH ‘list’ not only did you get a total number of items recorded, but each recorded program had a sequence number relative to the total. So, I would know, for example, that I had 176 programs recorded. That was critical intelligence for me. I knew that about 80% of that number would be movies. So I would know, right away, that I had just over a 3 months CACHE of recorded movies. That was always my goal. 3 months of movie on file. That way IF I cancelled or lost a movie channel (because the promo period ran out) I knew I could go for 3 months without having to worry about getting more new movies.

#87. The ‘GUIDE’ in addition to not telling you the proper channel name [e.g., ‘Bloomberg’, as I explained in #83], also has a cryptic ‘white’ tab against the Channel symbols, very like the ‘green’ tab that Excel puts on some cells to let you know that there is additional information associated with that cell. It is definitely because of this. When I see that ‘tab’ I want to know what it says behind it. But, I have yet to work out how I can click on that ‘tab’. Very frustrating. But, that is the watchword when it comes to DirecTV: ‘frustrating‘.

#88. I first reported this in #71, but yesterday, i.e., Monday, I just could not, and I mean COULD NOT, get the remote for the Genie Mini to accept 202 or 355. I am not kidding. Just would not take in those damn numbers. I would start punching in ‘2 …’ and it would immediately go to Channel 2! I would wait and I would start again. Now it would go to Channel 25 … that being the nearest to ’20’. After 4 f*ing attempts I had to haul myself out of bed, go upto the f*ing Genie Mini, put the damn controller right up against it and punch in 202. That worked. Then I was OK since I could use PREV. I hate DirecTV. Worst company in the World, hands down.

#89. Happened 5 times yesterday, on two separate occasions, with Channel 202 & 355 [i.e., CNN & CNBC]. When I selected the channel I got a BLACK screen. Nothing, but nothing on it. No sound. Just a BLACK screen. Had to hit PREV to go back and then start again. F*ing stupid. The Genie Mini is a piece of garbage.

#90. Also, yesterday morning with the bloody remote for the Genie f*ing Mini. Mute would only work, every other push. This is so pathetic. I have said it before, I will say it before. DirecTV’s business model appears to be that of giving their customers untested, inferior products and then holding them to a 2 year contract. 


Reasons 81 To 85 Of The 1,001 Reasons I Really, Really HATE DirecTV.

Anura Guruge, June 8, 2013.

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Anura Guruge


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#81. The movie reviews have cryptic symbols like red tomatoes, green tomatoes, popcorn etc. with NO EXPLANATION as to what the heck they mean. There are even percentages against these symbols. It is like a f*ing private joke. Did I mention that I really, really HATE DirecTV.

#82. In addition to these annoying in their indecipherability icons, the movie descriptions can in some instances be just 2 sentences — leaving you totally in the dark as to what the movie is all about. DISH, in general, had fairly detailed, fairly decent synopsis that gave you a chance in terms of deciding whether you want to record a movie or not.

#83. In the GUIDE the channel names are not properly represented. I challenge you to tell me, without looking it up, where I can find the Bloomberg Financial channel. Yes, it is there. But, on the GUIDE you will NEVER see even a reference to ‘Bloomberg’!

#84. So yesterday, Sunday, I powered up the TV/Genie 3 times. Whereas on Saturday night I had to wait 4 minutes, yes, 4 minutes, for the Remote to become active, on Sunday it was active from the Get Go … why? Because the first time I turned the TV on, Genie was already powered-up since it was recording a movie. The other two times, it had not gone into hibernation because there had not been 4 hours of inactivity. I find this erratic unpredictability annoying and distracting. I don’t know whether I should wait 4 minutes or whether it will work as soon as I power on the TV. Very annoying.

#85. I recorded a 2 hour documentary (very good I must say) from the Military Channel on ‘Lee & Grant’. It has quite a few commercial. And yes, I FF through commercial — which is why, other than with news and financials, I only watch pre-recorded shows. FF with the Genie is not pleasant. It is very slow and jerky. It is like skipping through a PowerPoint presentation rather than a video. THEN, when you hit PLAY … Oh, Dear! It takes ages for the sound to catch up. The video is all over the place. It is quite pathetic.